Potty training. It’s an infamous phrase that brings both joy and fear to parents everywhere. Joy at the thought of no longer buying diapers and changing stinky messes, but pure unadulterated fear at the process; accidents, extra laundry, and wondering if you’ll ever be able to leave the house without constant fear of your child peeing everywhere in your local Target store.
Before I talk about what worked for me with our oldest
child, let me just say… every child is different. What works for one child may
not work for another child. And if they are not ready for it, they will not do it. You can’t force potty
training or it will just backfire on you. Like, figuratively AND literally.
You’ve seen what 2 year olds are capable of, right? If they are angry they will
not hesitate to crap their pants in the middle of the grocery store while
looking you dead in the eye.
So now that we have established that potty training can be
trial and error and is not at all remotely possible unless a child is
physically and mentally ready, here is my experience on what worked for us.
Tip #1: Just say “no”
to Pull-Ups. I don’t mean to hate on Huggies. I have used them religiously
with both of my kids. They are great quality and the tools they have online for
potty training are awesome. However, the big kid version of diapers, aka
Pull-Ups, are nothing more than slightly thinner diapers. They are not really
that easy to pull up or down and they feel exactly the same as diapers. Sure,
some kinds turn colors or fade or become cool when your child is wet, but it is
still just a fancy diaper. Your child has to learn what it feels like to be wet
and they cannot do that when they are wearing cotton and gel beads that absorb
it all away.
I will say Pull-Ups can be a fun step before you really dive
into potty training. It can help them feel like more of a big kid while still
saving your sanity and your car seat.
Tip #2: Say “hello”
to big kid undies. What does your kid wear if they don’t wear diapers or
Pull-Ups? Well, undies! That’s the goal anyway, so why not just do it? Your
child will feel special and get used to wearing them. You can make picking some
out a fun event. They will feel grown-up and having brand new undies can make
it easier to say goodbye to the diapers.
Undies also allow kids to actually feel when they are wet. Before when they would pee in their diaper,
it would soak up nicely and they could go about their activities. With undies,
they are going to feel that they are wet right away and they will also be able
to see it. This will help them realize that when they feel like they have to
pee and they do so in their undies, they will make a big wet mess.
Tip #3: Put the potty
(or the child) in an easy and accessible area. Most kids start out potty
training with their own special child-sized potty. However, some kids go right
for the “real” toilet as well and that’s ok too. You just want to make sure the
potty is close-by so your child can get there quickly.
With our daughter, we put her potty in the living room where
she spent the most time. It also helped that that room had a wood floor so it
made cleanup easier (if you have carpet, make sure to invest in some good spot
cleaner or even a steam cleaner).
Tip #4: Don’t feel
bad about giving out candy as a reward. When I first started the potty-training
journey, I swore I would never use
food as a reward. I was scared that giving her food as a reward would teach her
it’s ok to reward oneself with unhealthy things just because you completed a task.
I didn’t want to add to any more unhealthy eating habits she may learn or have
inherited from this carb-loving Mommy. However, praise and stickers just did
not do the trick, but M n’ M’s sure did. I got the little mini ones in the tube
and one or two after she successfully went on the potty made her quite happy.
And it really wasn’t hard to wean her off of expecting them every time she
went. As long as you’re pro-active about making sure their eating habits don’t
get crazy, then don’t beat yourself up for resorting to candy.
Tip #5: Don’t get
angry when accidents happen. Sure, it’s easy to want to scream when there
is a pile of poop in the corner or you just stepped in a warm pool of urine,
but don’t lose your cool. Your child will feel shamed, rejected, or even angry.
And remember what angry toddlers are capable of? None of those feelings will
help encourage them to keep trying. Make sure you just tell them to make sure
they listen to their body and use the potty next time.
These five tips are all things we did to potty-train our
oldest. She was 2.5 at the time. One day we told her that she was ready to wear
big girl undies and we were going to say “bye” to her precious Minnie Mouse
Pull-ups. She got some fun new big girl undies and we let her wear them around
the house. She wore undies and only undies as it helped her really see what
happened when she had an accident. Plus, it cut down on laundry. When she had
accidents, she could really see what would happen and how annoying it was to be
all wet. We would immediately sit her on her potty, and whenever she
successfully went on the potty, she got an M n’ M. Within 24 hours she was
using the potty every time.
I’ll admit, it’s pretty cool to be able to say she was
potty-trained within 24-hours, but like I said… every kid is different. And our
second may very well have a completely different process that takes forever.
Who knows!
Some other things to keep in mind with potty training:
11.) Accidents will happen. Even when you’re
child pretty much has the hang of it, there will be days they wait too long or
get too busy playing and “forget”.
22.) Staying dry at night usually comes much
later. I didn’t realize it takes many children a lot longer to stay dry at
night. I was expecting our oldest to just sleep through the night and be fine,
but I found her Pull-Up (which we were luckily still using at night) was soaked
in the morning still. Many kids aren’t developmentally ready to hold it all
night until they are around 4 or 5. Some kids take even longer and sometimes
you’ll get lucky and have a little one who actually can stay dry at night at a
young age.
33.) Regression is completely normal. I
could have lost my mind when our then almost 3-year old started having
accidents again. And then I really about lost my mind when she started doing it
on purpose. I’d read about regression being totally normal and I realized she
was just trying to have some control in a time when a lot was changing for her;
we had another baby on the way! You have to realize it is 100% normal and it
doesn’t mean you or your child have failed in anyway.
44.) Books are great tools. You can never go wrong with books about potty-training or big kid undies. It mentally prepares your child and keeps them engaged.
I hope sharing my experience and what worked for us will
help some of you in your potty-training journey. I know I will be doing it all
over again when our little guy is ready.
I’m really glad I own a carpet cleaner because our new home
is about 80% carpet…
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